What would your reaction be if I told you that you were going to die in a year? No seriously what if you only had a year to live? What would you do if it was true? Who would you want to see? Where you want to travel? What would you want to do you have not done yet? What is on your bucket list? Do have a list are you living by the seat of your pants?
The fact is you are going to die. We are all going to die. It is the one absolute that without a doubt I can promise you. Every single moment you are inching closer and closer to your final breath, the final beat of your heart, your ultimate demise. The truth is this could be your last year, month, week, day, hour or even minute of living. Someone just died while I was typing this. So just what in the hell are you waiting for? A bucket list is something you put in the drawer somewhere and forget. A bucket list is for dreaming and quite frankly the clock is ticking and you do not have time for dreams. You need to plan for now and actually do.
Live. Do the things you want now and stop acting like you are going to live forever because you are not. Now is the time to dance in the moonlight. Now is the time to swim naked in the ocean. Now is the time to jump out of a plane or ride in a ballon. Now is the time to do and see everything you possibly can. Do it now because next year is not guaranteed.
This is the one thing I can promise you. You only get one single time limited life. There are no guarantees. Live like you are going to die tomorrow because you never know when your time going to run out. Take this from a guy who has already died once. It can all be gone in an instant.
So live now.
Parents take stock in what your boys are being exposed to because it does matter. Sit down and have a very serious conversation with your boys because they are watching and they are listening to a President who tells them the enemy is the abused and not the abuser or her rapist. He is telling them to fear the accuser. He is telling them it is okay to abuse women and then to make fun of them and destroy them when they step forward to report they were hurt, harmed, battered or raped.
We made the leap and are now building our new house in Playa Del Carmen Mexico.
While the build is happening we decided it would be fun to be gypsies. Every month we move to a different neighborhood in Playa to learn anything and everything we can about our new hometown. It has been amazing, fun, tiring and has taught us a lot about our new city and about ourselves.
It sounds romantic to be able to move around as you please, but the truth is we found we ended up craving stability. We also cannot wait to get our things out of storage. There are little things you miss like the insta-pot and air fryer. We actually bought a set of sheets and towels to carry with us so we have a sense of something of our own. The one thing we have learned right away is that we packed way too many clothes. The truth is, you live in shorts, t-shirts and flip flops. I have not put on a pair of jeans or pants in six months. Mostly, I live in swimming suits. I miss my calendar with all of our family in it. I actually cried when my kids gave it to me and I could not even open to look at for days afterward without tearing up. Now I would give anything to open it. I miss all of our family pictures lining the shelves of our office. I miss a real good office chair. I miss those little things which say hey this is ours. I miss the little robot what sits on my desk or the dinosaur bone my son brought me from a dig. See it is the simple things you end up missing. I guess that is the biggest lesson we have learned.
We have lived in just about every neighborhood. Our favorite neighborhoods have been the ones which are mainly Mexican and not full of expats. The locals are amazing, sweet, and kind. I love learning about daily life here and all of the quirks that come with it. We have found the more tourist like a place is it loses the cultural aspects which is why you want to live here along with the beauty. Once you lose the culture it becomes just another place to live.
I am sure we will look back at these months and romanticize the gypsy idea once again, but the truth is we are the kind of couple who needs and must plant roots. By Christmas our new house will be done and it will be so wonderful to finally be in a place we can call home. It will be a happy day when our children can come to visit and we can spend some real quality time together. Don’t get me wrong we love it here and this is where we will spend the rest of our lives, but it will be nice when we can live in one place, our place. Until then we will continue feeling like we are just visiting.
I was sitting here behind the desk doing some work. Nothing important and nothing which required a lot of thought. You know the kind of tasks where you mind can and often does wander? I was thinking about life’s blessings and how the things I thought were going to make me happy were actually the things which in some ways matter the least to me.
As a young man I thought more than anything I wanted to work in the theater. The theater was the place were I was going to find complete fulfillment. Now don’t get me wrong you can find fulfillment in the theater, but you learn very quickly when money comes into play it just kind of sucks the fun and the life right out of it. Theater as a business is a complete different animal than theater for simply the sake of theater and art.
As life continued I thought I would like to do television. In my mind television was where I was going to find the answers to my dreams. I have done a whole lot of television at this point of my life and I can tell you that very little satisfaction ever came from being on a show. Kind of difficult to watch your life being dramatized and portrayed, only in the next moment to be interrupted by tampon and erectile dysfunction commercials.
Then I thought I was going to find everything I needed by doing a film. A movie would bring me everything I wanted in life. I would not only be in film but I would also write for it as well. I was lucky enough to do a few films but in the end I did not find the satisfaction I desired at all in film. In fact. I learned a whole lot about the ugly side of life from working in film and what that ugliness can and will do to people.
So, I became an author and I have to tell you I do get some satisfaction from writing.However, I do not get any satisfaction from working with publishers. Again, once money enters the equation it has a tendency of sucking the life and creativity out of art. Did you know my favorite book I wrote is the only book I self published? Crazy A Prayer for the Dead is by far my favorite of my books. This is why I have made a serious decision to self publish from here on out. Besides, I am married to a perfect artist and editor which helps a whole lot.
I have worked for SyFy, Discovery, CW, Destination America, Warner Brothers, CNN, NBC Universal, Chiller, The Travel Channel and more. I have been featured in newspapers and magazines around the world including Entertainment Weekly, Variety, The New York Post, and The Sun to name just a few. I have done just about every major radio show in the United States, Canada, and the world which has included everything from Man Cow to Coast 2 Coast. I am in the Library of Congress in at least three different places with multiple pieces of work. Are you impressed yet? You really shouldn’t be if you are. Often the things you will be remembered for in life are not the things where you found happiness.
After chasing and achieving all of these dreams in the end do you know where I found satisfaction? I found it in the easiness and simplicity of the love I have for my husband. I found it in all five of our children and the loves of their lives. We get more excited and proud of their accomplishments than anything we ever accomplished on our own. Our three granddaughters who continue to teach make us happier than anything else in life and they continue to teach us about not only acceptance but unconditional love. My mother and father who taught me it was okay to tell people my truth because no matter what you will still have those who will still love you. These are truly the riches found in life and all of that other stuff which might impress some in the end does not matter all of that much.
There was a time when I did not say much publicly about politics. That was before it was no longer just political bickering and it became a fight for ALL OF US living the life that we choose and with whom. That was before we were in a fight for the ideals of what the United States is suppose to be about and the country which so many gave their lives to preserve. The greatest generation understood that.
When I first started being vocal with my rage against Trump and the GOP someone said to me, “You really should not take sides since you are an author and you want people to buy your books.” It obviously was a veiled threat. That was the first of many times and each time I would say to them, “I would rather go to my grave penniless than to support hate.”
You know I saw Dolly Parton say something completely the opposite the other day about not saying anything because she did not want to offend anyone. Well that may have been true when you could have peddled this off as a political point of view, but you see Dolly it changed when it became moral. Babies are being put in cages, laws are being passed to legally hate and you are worried someone will not buy a fucking record. You’re right Dolly. Someone will not buy another record or buy another concert ticket of yours because I can guarantee you I fucking won’t.
So for anyone out there that thinks I will stand by and watch the destruction of this country quietly because I will lose book sales, well then you do not know me and you obviously have never truly read one of my books in the first damn place. I don’t care. I will not be quiet and I will not be silent. I just might write a book about it all in the end because that is who I am and many people should write the truth about these dark days.
So for those of you out there who have said, “God bless Dolly for not getting involved,” I have and will continue to block you because Dolly is not doing God’s work by remaining silent while babies are being held in cages. Dolly is not doing God’s work while old men are being beat in the street for being a different color. Dolly is not doing Gods work as another gay couple is beat for holding hands. Dolly is being greedy and Dolly is being a coward. End of story.
You can cheer on court cases which say you do not have to serve us a cake or whatever other discriminatory hate you can come up with. Truth is, if you are one of these discriminating businesses I do not want to give you my money anyway. I have spent years boycotting Chick-fil-a, Hobby Lobby, and Tommy Hilfiger just to name a few due to their associations and practices. Trust me there are enough LGBTQ in the community and allies out here to buy goods and services from that we truly do not need to beg you to take our money. I beg no one to take my money.
Secondly, I do not care if you do not approve of my marriage. I simply do not because it is truly none of your business who I am married to. The highest court in the land can say it is not a legitimate marriage and that would be okay. You know why? Because my marriage is between myself and my husband and no one else. I do not and have never needed a piece of paper to say it is real. Seriously fuck you and your reality.
Third, all of this in the end is going to hurt you a lot more than it is going to hurt us. You see we came of age in a world who hated and scorned us. We grew up watching you proclaiming AIDS was God’s wrath upon us. We grew up with Anita Bryant and the Westboro Baptist Church on the news nightly and more hate than you could ever imagine for just being born this way. So you need to understand there is not a lot you can do to us. We will survive because we have always survived the worst you have been able to throw at us and we are still here. So legislate and get your court rulings because the truth is we are queer and we are here and there is nothing and I mean nothing you can do about it. Now can I get an Amen up in here?