What would your reaction be if I told you that you were going to die in a year? No seriously what if you only had a year to live? What would you do if it was true? Who would you want to see? Where you want to travel? What would you want to do you have not done yet? What is on your bucket list? Do have a list are you living by the seat of your pants?
The fact is you are going to die. We are all going to die. It is the one absolute that without a doubt I can promise you. Every single moment you are inching closer and closer to your final breath, the final beat of your heart, your ultimate demise. The truth is this could be your last year, month, week, day, hour or even minute of living. Someone just died while I was typing this. So just what in the hell are you waiting for? A bucket list is something you put in the drawer somewhere and forget. A bucket list is for dreaming and quite frankly the clock is ticking and you do not have time for dreams. You need to plan for now and actually do.
Live. Do the things you want now and stop acting like you are going to live forever because you are not. Now is the time to dance in the moonlight. Now is the time to swim naked in the ocean. Now is the time to jump out of a plane or ride in a ballon. Now is the time to do and see everything you possibly can. Do it now because next year is not guaranteed.
This is the one thing I can promise you. You only get one single time limited life. There are no guarantees. Live like you are going to die tomorrow because you never know when your time going to run out. Take this from a guy who has already died once. It can all be gone in an instant.
So live now.
I was sitting here behind the desk doing some work. Nothing important and nothing which required a lot of thought. You know the kind of tasks where you mind can and often does wander? I was thinking about life’s blessings and how the things I thought were going to make me happy were actually the things which in some ways matter the least to me.
As a young man I thought more than anything I wanted to work in the theater. The theater was the place were I was going to find complete fulfillment. Now don’t get me wrong you can find fulfillment in the theater, but you learn very quickly when money comes into play it just kind of sucks the fun and the life right out of it. Theater as a business is a complete different animal than theater for simply the sake of theater and art.
As life continued I thought I would like to do television. In my mind television was where I was going to find the answers to my dreams. I have done a whole lot of television at this point of my life and I can tell you that very little satisfaction ever came from being on a show. Kind of difficult to watch your life being dramatized and portrayed, only in the next moment to be interrupted by tampon and erectile dysfunction commercials.
Then I thought I was going to find everything I needed by doing a film. A movie would bring me everything I wanted in life. I would not only be in film but I would also write for it as well. I was lucky enough to do a few films but in the end I did not find the satisfaction I desired at all in film. In fact. I learned a whole lot about the ugly side of life from working in film and what that ugliness can and will do to people.
So, I became an author and I have to tell you I do get some satisfaction from writing.However, I do not get any satisfaction from working with publishers. Again, once money enters the equation it has a tendency of sucking the life and creativity out of art. Did you know my favorite book I wrote is the only book I self published? Crazy A Prayer for the Dead is by far my favorite of my books. This is why I have made a serious decision to self publish from here on out. Besides, I am married to a perfect artist and editor which helps a whole lot.
I have worked for SyFy, Discovery, CW, Destination America, Warner Brothers, CNN, NBC Universal, Chiller, The Travel Channel and more. I have been featured in newspapers and magazines around the world including Entertainment Weekly, Variety, The New York Post, and The Sun to name just a few. I have done just about every major radio show in the United States, Canada, and the world which has included everything from Man Cow to Coast 2 Coast. I am in the Library of Congress in at least three different places with multiple pieces of work. Are you impressed yet? You really shouldn’t be if you are. Often the things you will be remembered for in life are not the things where you found happiness.
After chasing and achieving all of these dreams in the end do you know where I found satisfaction? I found it in the easiness and simplicity of the love I have for my husband. I found it in all five of our children and the loves of their lives. We get more excited and proud of their accomplishments than anything we ever accomplished on our own. Our three granddaughters who continue to teach make us happier than anything else in life and they continue to teach us about not only acceptance but unconditional love. My mother and father who taught me it was okay to tell people my truth because no matter what you will still have those who will still love you. These are truly the riches found in life and all of that other stuff which might impress some in the end does not matter all of that much.
I am not always a romantic sort of person. In the past, I had tried to convince myself I was a realist in order to justify to myself that I did not need or deserve love. Then I met my soul mate and the love of my life and my whole world changed and how I viewed that world changed as well. I went from a fatalist into a romantic.
It was not an easy transition. Nancy, my dear adoptive sister, would tell me year after year,”The love of your life is on the way. He will have red hair and you will travel the world and live happily ever after.” Every time she would say this I would laugh and say. “We will see.”
I came back to St. Louis to live and I was one of the healdliners at the first ever Ghost Tours at the Fox Theater. I did not want to do it and Nancy told me, “You need to go bro. I wasn’t going to tell you this but the red haired man who will be the love of your life will be there. Tonight is the night you meet him.” I reluctantly agreed to go because the whole tour thing had been a nightmare up to that point and had been a bad situation.
That was the night which turned out to be the night I met Rick. It would be not until the following June when we first went on our first date but it was that October night when we met. Nancy was right he would turn out to be everything I was looking for and much much more.
Today I got to marry the love of my life and the best friend I have ever had. Thank you to everyone for your best thoughts and best wishes. And for those of you who have not yet found love I promise you that you must not give up. They will come when the time is right. Good night. Sweet dreams.
As for me? I am healed, loved, and finally complete. Love you all.
Sexual harassment and abuse happens in all walks of life. I have personally distanced myself before from people who beat their significant other and I have also distanced myself quite publicly from someone in entertainment who I know who roofied, abused, and raped a woman. I have kept it quiet for quite some time now because I never felt it was something I should tell because coming from me at this point it was just hearsay which could and would obviously be denied.
Not all sexual abuse goes reported. There is a shame and the fear of not being believed which keeps victims from coming forward. It has always bothered me that I knew of the abusive behavior of these two men and I could never stand up and say it publicly in order to prevent it from happening to someone else. The only thing you can do in the end it to distance yourself from them as much as you can and pray for those who might come in contact with them. And also pray that someday one or more of their victims will stand up and publicly tell their story.
Hopefully all of the attention which has been placed upon this very serious issue lately will cause more victims to stand up and point out their abusers and hopefully the abusers in this world will think twice from harming someone else.
This is just one of the rooms in the Memorial for Murdered Jews in Berlin. As you look down at your feet you read the words of the victims and what they lived through. Each memory is sadder and more terrifying as the next. You are looking down as if you are in a graveyard. The whole experience is eerie to say the least.
I managed to read most of them until I came to one which was the memories of a little girl. This child was praying she would be dead when they threw her body into the pit. She had heard there were children being thrown into the pit still alive and she did not want to die like that. I could not hold back the tears at this point and I had to walk out of the room.
This is the face of hate. Hate begins as one action and then ripples into something larger and larger.
“First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”
Martin Niemöller (1892–1984) was a prominent Protestant pastor who emerged as an outspoken public foe of Adolf Hitler and spent the last seven years of Nazi rule in concentration camps.
Stop and think. First they came for the Muslims and then they came for me.
Five years ago today I went through a life changing and prolonging open heart surgery. At the point when they did the surgery, I could feel the blood actually gurgle from the restriction as it flowed through my heart. I had prepared myself for the worst and was willing to accept the final outcome whatever it may be.
I had a total of five artery grafts in my heart. One of the minor grafts collapsed last year, but it was by and far the least important and does not hurt the overall health of the heart at all. However, the other four major grafts are extremely healthy and are working great. Five years later and I am in better health than I have been in for a very long time. I live a very active and full life. I consider today a birthday of sorts. In some very literal ways, I was reborn on this day back in 2011.
If you are currently experiencing chest pains, shortness of breath, fatigue, swelling of feet and/or hands, nausea and more, this is your body telling you something is wrong and you need to get it checked out. For example, when I was first diagnosed I thought I had pneumonia. However, many times heart disease is a silent killer without much warning so a check up with a stress test is always a great idea. For women read about the warning signs because many times your symptoms will be very different from men.
The point is, there have been great advances in diet, medication, and surgery to deal with heart disease. It no longer needs to be the death sentence it once was considered. All it requires from you is to be proactive about your health. If you are having unexplained symptoms or just not feeling well overall get it checked out. For those without symptoms get your checkups, eat low fat and carb diets, quit smoking if you smoke, limit your alcohol consumption, and most importantly keep that heart pumping with exercise. Ride a bike, walk, or do what I do which is a combination of things. I row, walk, and ride a bike four days a week. It works. Currently, I see my cardiologist once every three months. I see him not because I am doing badly, but because my positive life changes and choices have caused the need to slowly reduce the amount of medication it takes to keep me living a healthy, happy life. That is the best reason to see the doctor. Trust me.