When I see the word blog it has always scared me a little. You see the word, BLOG whereas I see the word, BLOB or BLAH. It is not because I do not like the idea of blogging and the sharing of ideas. If that were the case, I would not be an author at all. It is the idea of the commitment a blog requires and takes to maintain. The idea of having enough content and will I have enough to say or share with you. Quite frankly that scares the living hell out of me.

All of my social media friends I know at this moment will be taking a huge sigh of relief because now they will not have to read paragraphs upon paragraphs from me on everything from politics, gay rights, the supernatural, and anything else which might strike me at any given moment. They say I do not understand the idea of acceptable social media lengths of posting. Twitter limits the amount of words precisely due to long winded writers like myself. Facebook and TUMBLR on the other hand have not been as wise and it shows at times when I really get on a roll. Well it actually shows a lot. A day does not go by where I start something with one sentence and it turns into a hundred. I always find myself saying during these daily infractions, “Just one more thought to share before I am done.”

Even through my fear of blog commitment is very real and does exist, the time has finally come for me to take the blogging plunge. So here it is, THE BLOG.  You are not always going to agree with what I say here, but I always promise to share the truth about my thoughts and what I might be feeling from this moment to the next. In some ways, I feel like I just might be participating in the recording of history. Surely it is the bloggers in this world who are now the ones documenting the thoughts, events, and actions of the times.

So yes I am ready to take the blog plunge. Here we go. I hope you enjoy it.



No Holiday Police

Years ago after the death of my sister I went with my mother and my Aunt Toy to a grief management seminar. I learned a lot of things during that day which helped me and my family. I also gained many tools to be able to cope with the loss of someone who was so important in my life.

One of the topics of the seminar was how to cope with holiday stress and the growing intensity of grief during those holidays. I thought I would share this with you because over the past few weeks I have seen many of your trying to cope with holiday stress.

There is only one rule and here it is. “DO NOT DO ANYTHING YOU DO NOT FEEL LIKE DOING.” No one says there is mandatory holiday participation. As Rick would say, “There is no holiday police.” lol Do what you are comfortable with doing and nothing more. Once you can take this attitude trust me the holiday will then become much easier to handle. You do not want to cook a big dinner then don’t. You don’t want to bake then don’t. You want to put presents into bags instead of wrapping or you do not want to shop at all then don’t. The point is there is nothing required of you to do. You only have to do what you feel like doing and nothing more.

You know sometimes we put ourselves under such pressure during this time of year when we really shouldn’t. Just because you use to do things one way as a tradition does not mean you cannot throw those old traditions out and start all over again. Remember there is no holiday police who is going to arrest you because you decided not to put up a tree or to bake a ham. Trust me on this. You will not be a bad person for choosing to keep it simple.

This is a gift for everyone if they would decide to apply it to their lives. Nothing is required and everything is optional.

Blessings to you and special blessings to those who are hurting, but please know you are not alone.


Today I Married the Love of My Life.

I am not always a romantic sort of person. In the past, I had tried to convince myself I was a realist in order to justify to myself that I did not need or deserve love. Then I met my soul mate and the love of my life and my whole world changed and how I viewed that world changed as well. I went from a fatalist into a romantic.

It was not an easy transition. Nancy, my dear adoptive sister, would tell me year after year,”The love of your life is on the way. He will have red hair and you will travel the world and live happily ever after.” Every time she would say this I would laugh and say. “We will see.”

I came back to St. Louis to live and I was one of the healdliners at the first ever Ghost Tours at the Fox Theater. I did not want to do it and Nancy told me, “You need to go bro. I wasn’t going to tell you this but the red haired man who will be the love of your life will be there. Tonight is the night you meet him.” I reluctantly agreed to go because the whole tour thing had been a nightmare up to that point and had been a bad situation.

That was the night which turned out to be the night I met Rick. It would be not until the following June when we first went on our first date but it was that October night when we met. Nancy was right he would turn out to be everything I was looking for and much much more.

Today I got to marry the love of my life and the best friend I have ever had. Thank you to everyone for your best thoughts and best wishes. And for those of you who have not yet found love I promise you that you must not give up. They will come when the time is right. Good night. Sweet dreams.

As for me?  I am healed, loved, and finally complete. Love you all.



Sexual harassment and abuse happens in all walks of life. I have personally distanced myself before from people who beat their significant other and I have also distanced myself quite publicly from someone in entertainment who I know who roofied, abused, and raped a woman. I have kept it quiet for quite some time now because I never felt it was something I should tell because coming from me at this point it was just hearsay which could and would obviously be denied.

Not all sexual abuse goes reported. There is a shame and the fear of not being believed which keeps victims from coming forward. It has always bothered me that I knew of the abusive behavior of these two men and I could never stand up and say it publicly in order to prevent it from happening to someone else. The only thing you can do in the end it to distance yourself from them as much as you can and pray for those who might come in contact with them. And also pray that someday one or more of their victims will stand up and publicly tell their story.

Hopefully all of the attention which has been placed upon this very serious issue lately will cause more victims to stand up and point out their abusers and hopefully the abusers in this world will think twice from harming someone else.

Thoughts on this National Coming Out Day

Every single day I log into social media to catch up with friends and family. To share the good things in life and also to share the difficult times. There is a lot to be said about the continuing conversation we collectively all have through Facebook and other things like it. But there is an ugly side to it as well.

Every single day as a gay man I have to sort through my newsfeeds and there, every single day, I am confronted with hate speech from things as simple as gay jokes which people think are harmless to articles which call LGBTQ people everything from an abomination to satanic. We have are continually exposed to lawmakers who want to make laws to hurt us and those who even want to kill us. When we decide to stand up and say something we are often told we are over reacting or we are making something out of nothing. Well it is not an overreaction and our words and disdain are justified.

Today is National Coming Out Day. Coming Out is not a thing which LGBTQ people do one time in their lives. I have spent most of my life coming out in different ways to different people. For the longest time I reserved that personal knowledge to those who were closest to me and come to find out even in those cases I did not do a very good job of sharing it. Regardless of what you may think, it was not that is was something I was hiding at all. It was however, something I considered very personal. It was my business. However, over the past few years I have become very open about my life and my choice in a partner. I would never have wanted to hide the most important person and relationship in my life. Over these past few years I have discovered that I am always in the process of Coming Out. I come out every single day with every single person I meet and in every single thing I do. I am in a sense, Coming Out right now while I am sharing these thoughts with you because there is someone out there who will invariably read this who did not know. You know I even lost friends when I shared with everyone I was marrying my long time partner? It’s true. It happened.

Keep in mind, there is someone in your life right now who is LGBTQ that has not told you and has not come out. So when your share a harmless gay joke or share an anti LGBTQ article you are hurting someone you love and someone who is close to you. It could be a friend, a co-worker, a son or a daughter, and in some cases even a mother or a father. Sexuality is not always black and white and for most of us there is a whole lot of gray area. So choose your words wisely. I, unfriend people on a daily basis for homophobic hate speech and in some ways just by supporting this current President and his administration you are harming LGBTQ people and of course being one, you are harming me.

It is a shame that on this Coming Out day we have to turn our attention to those LGBTQ people in MIssissippi where a new law has been put into place to make it okay to discriminate against them. It is not okay and they should be angry and defiant. I know I am feeling that way for them because you see if you hurt one of us you hurt all of us.

So for the sake of those you know and those you care about it is time to choose your words wisely. And if someone cares enough to share their most intimate and important aspect of who they truly are be loving and be supportive. I am very lucky in this life to have so many family and friends who support me for who I am. Do the same for someone else today it is one of the most important things you can do for them. Being LGBTQ is not a choice and God made us in his image in the same way he made you. This is who we are and with God’s grace we can pray someday there will no longer be a need for this thing called National Coming Out Day.

The Truth Behind The Exorcist

Where did 1949 St. Louis Exorcisms of the young boy which inspired The Exorcist take place?

Father Bishop’s Diary tells us there were only three St. Louis locations where the exorcisms of the young boy took place. The diary is very specific that the suburban house, Alexian Brothers Hospital, and the Rectory of St. Xavier’s College Church were the only locations where the exorcisms were performed in St. Louis.

Keep in mind, the diary was not a document which was meant for public consumption. It was an internal document written to record history for Church eyes only. This makes the diary the most accurate historic document of the events. You may have seen other locations in books or on television, but there is no evidence to prove the existence of any other locations outside these three locations.

What is pictured here is an old picture of Alexian Brothers Hospital. In the picture you can see a cross on top of the building. The other picture is of this same cross which is now housed in the City Museum here in St. Louis. It is said during the final moments of the exorcism this cross was struck by lightning. Now a lot more occurred during those final moments, but you will have to read Confrontation with Evil for the full true story.

The problem when dealing with a case which eventually would inspire the horror classic, The Exorcist is the film itself. People who have attempted to tell this true story of the 1949 St. Louis Exorcism cannot seem to get past the shadow of the popular film. The film instead of the truth ends up dictating the story for them. In return, many important aspects of the case have been rewritten or ignored because it did not fit into the framework of their idea of the film, The Exorcist. So what you get is a fractured, exaggerated, and in many cases, an untrue telling of what actually happened to the young boy in 1949 St. Louis.

That is the reason my book is dedicated to the boy himself and the truth which up until this point has never been fully told.

Confrontation with Evil

The Real Screaming House

This is the real Screaming House. It is much different looking than the house in the show A Haunting: Fear House. I no longer live near it and I have learned through the years the further I can be from this horrible place the better I will be.
I was looking at this picture and I was thinking about a conversation I had with Theresa on those front steps many years ago. I had made the difficult decision of sharing the story with everyone. I was not looking for fame or anything like that. I was looking for closure because I felt if I could find others who had been through a like experience I just might be able to figure it out for myself and end the horrible nightmare we all were going through. It was for no other reason than that.
Later, when I reluctantly wrote the book, The Uninvited I did so because I then understood the importance of sharing the experience of this place with others who might be going through the same thing. Through the years I have turned down many people who were interested in doing a film about it. I have seen what has happened to others and I understood what is put on film will remain and define the experience. The right telling of the story just has not come along and I am not sure it ever will. Until that happens I will define the events in my own words.
The book of course has went on to become somewhat of a true horror classic. It always amazes me when I see it on lists next to The Demonologist and Amityville. People always write me to tell me how much the book scared them. The funny thing is I did not think the book was scary at all. The intent of the book was to show how this type of haunting works and how it plays on every single person around it. Writing The Uninvited and Blessed are the Wicked was a very emotional thing for me. Lots of days sitting behind the computer wiping away tears. So for me, the books are way more emotional than scary.
The original intent was to find other people like me. Through the years I have realized that there are very few people who have experienced a haunting on this level and I find that somewhat confusing and lonely at times. Helen (Linda) is now gone and I miss her more with every passing year. Not only was she one of the only people who truly understood what we went through, she was also one of the best friends I ever had in my life. I miss her.
Anyway, I thought I would share this picture with you and if you are ever interested in reading the real story behind the case I would suggest reading The Uninvited and Blessed are the Wicked. The TV show was great but it left a lot unsaid.

The Secret Behind The Exorcist Case Revealed

If you have read Confrontation with Evil about the case which inspired The Exorcist you will know what this is a picture of. Give you a hint it is a hallway described at the end of the book. What resided behind those double doors at the end of the hall has been one of the most kept secrets in paranormal history.

Read the book which was featured in The New York Post and The Sun. It has been called the definitive book on the 1949 possession case which inspired The Exorcist.